TheDailyJog

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Why I will never watch anything to do with MCR with mum ever again.

Mum: What's the name of the skinny one? The one who looks like he's been told he's gonna die all the time? Y'know, at the end.
Me: Um, Mikey?
Mum: I'm gonna call him Twiglet. Why's he so skinny? He's like Kate Moss on speed... somebody needs to fatten him up. We should invite him around for a nice Sunday dinner. Twiglet needs some meat on his bones.
Me: Uh, I'll tell Alicia that next time I get to talk to them.
Mum: Who's Alicia?
Me: ... his wife.
Mum: Oh. So Twiglet's married? What about his brother? Y'know, the one with the vampire obsession? Raccoon boy?
Me: Gerard?
Mum: Yeah, is he single?
Me: He's married.
Mum: I didn't think that legalized that. Does he live in California? Who'd he marry? No, wait, let me guess, the short one he's always fondling? Frank?
Me: What?! No! He married a girl, Mum. And he has a daughter.
Mum: A daughter? I didn't think he had it in him.
(Later, during a live performance...)
Mum: It looks like he [Gerard] has a rash, like he's allergic to all that make-up - oh, but of course they quickly swap camera angles so you can't see. He is a bit of a sex symbol after all.
Me: A sex symbol? Gerard? I don't think he is...
Mum: Sure he is. If he had better hygiene... I would, I'd tap that. Point him in my direction. He's got pretty eyes.
(Even later, during an interview...)
Mum: So is this what you do on the internet all day? Talk about My Chemical Romance?
Me: Pretty much...
Mum: Can I join?
Me: Join what? Tumblr? I don't think you'd like it.
Mum: Why not? I like Gerard.
Me: Yeah, but you can't just say, 'I hate MCR's music but that Gerard one is very pretty, isn't he?'
Mum: I don't hate all their music... I like that Teenagers one!
Me: Figures.
Mum: And the one, the Black Parade one, that goes 'La la la, could you get me a drink of water?'
Me: Don't you mean Cancer?
Mum: Isn't that the one that goes 'My father took me... somewhere'?
(At the end of the interview...)
Mum: Does he [Gerard] ever shut up? Look, the blonde one at the back looks as bored as fuck. I feel you, dude, I feel you.
Me: Shh, I wanna listen.
Mum: But he's just talking over everyone!
Me: Yeah, he's the frontman.
Mum: Oh, no, wait! Ssh! The one with all the hair is talking now!
Me: You mean Ray?
Mum: Shut up! I wanna listen! Yeah, go mop-head!
Me: His name is Ray, Mum!
Mum: Oh now you've talked over him. Poor dude. What if he had something interesting to say? God, Catherine, I see why you like Gerard so much, you both talk way too much.
best thing I've ever read LOL